dream diary: 25 May 2008

my dreams are always dark.

they are two men in a cemetery, clutching letters and papers. they are old and tired, worn and weary from their addictions, from their trials and tribulations, from their shit lives and jobs. here is a last chance at hope.

they have both come here, in the dead of night, to find a treasure. but we are not grave robbers, one says to the other. we are only come here to claim what is ours. i do not know what riches they hope to unearth amid bones and rotting clothes and hair. many have come before, taking and taking from those who no longer need, and the graves that remain are empty but for the dead.

but we can search here, where no-one thinks to look, the other says. but it is dark, nearly pitch black and they have no shovels, no lights, no strength, nothing but greed and despair.

we should come back, says one. we can look for a map of the cemetery, compare notes, bring tools, to make it easier. then we can find what we seek, and even more!

but the other is desperate. i can no longer tell who is saying what, only that they are desperate, tired, worn.

they turn a corner, and it is dark. it looked as though you were but disembodied eyes--you could not see your feet if you looked down, your hands if you held them out, a wall even if it hit you. and yet you knew there was something there, creeping slowly, prickling the hairs at your neck, freezing you in fear until it was too late, and running only delayed the inevitable.

the men ran in the dark, turning corners, crashing into graves and tombstones, losing themselves in tunnels, drenched in sweat and tears, the stench of their fear and helplessness filling the air.

eventually they found open air, a small grassy lawn. they came out between two mausoleums, and across the street, they saw a family of women at a picnic, as though it were perfectly normal at this hour of night. all of a sudden they noticed the dim light from the lampposts, the fresh, clean green grass between the gravestones. all of a sudden, the place was no longer ominous and deadly. but they knew this was not true.